WHAT’S the difference between an orgasm and an apple?

Having a good old-fashioned orgasm could save your life

WHAT'S the difference between an orgasm and an apple? Absolutely nothing – because they're both supposed to keep the doctor away.

That's according to an NHS leaflet doing the rounds in Sheffield.

This leaflet suggests there's too much emphasis on safe sex and not enough on pleasure — and highlights the health benefits of regular orgasms.

Which does raise the question of whether regular sex really is good for you or not.

After all, sex is one of those subjects, like booze or chocolate, which is always hitting the headlines — and is either a lifesaver or a killer, depending on which way the wind is blowing.

Certainly, the health benefits of regular rumpy pumpy are aired more than the average set of bedsheets. Top of the list is "sexercise" — the idea that horizontal jogging is a proper workout.

"Take more exercise" is something doctors are always banging on about.

But does banging on the headboard count? Probably not. Because health gurus reckon the amount of exercise we need is about 30 minutes per day at least five days a week.

Unless you're in a charity bonkathon, that's a target you're unlikely to meet. In fact, the average lovemaking session only uses about the same energy as climbing a couple of flights of stairs. Having said that, on the exercise front, every little helps — so don't let that put you off.

Besides, regular sexual activity — including DIY — is linked to other health benefits, such as a reduced risk of prostate cancer in men.

It has other big advantages, too.

Humping

It may reduce pain caused by migraine, arthritis and back trouble, boost your immune system and lower your blood pressure. Also, what goes on below the belt may help what's going on between your ears — a healthy sex life is linked to improved self-esteem, better sleep and reduced tension.

But what about the health hazards of regular humping? There are a few.

Unwanted pregnancy is the obvious one. Then there are sexually transmitted infections, with effects ranging from minor inconvenience through infertility to death. And there are lesser known scenarios where a "healthy sex life" can backfire.

Recurrent "orgasm headache" is one — it's a type of migraine most common in men which makes their climax more "Aaaargh!" than "Ooooh!"

It's not all good news on the prostate front, either. Have a PSA test — a blood test looking for signs of prostate cancer — within a couple of days of orgasm and the result may be artificially high. That's enough to wipe the smile off your face and cause you some serious worry.

And what about the old chestnut that blokes with dicky tickers might find a legover means their life's over?

Here are the facts — and they're reassuring. The odds of a healthy 50-year-old having a heart attack mid-bonk are two in a million — in other words, nearly zero. If you're a dodgy cardiac case, the chances increase ten fold — but ten times nearly nothing is still nearly nothing.

So, on balance, I'd say sex is good for you. But then I would, because I'm a bloke.

Of course, many of the benefits may be linked more to being in a happy relationship rather than simply to the number of orgasms you have per week.

Whatever. It's much more fun than an apple a day.

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